A year ago, I stepped into Albania with no clear plan and a heart trusting that God would meet me somewhere in the unknown. Along the way, I learned and grew. Now, as I think about the possibility of returning to Canada for a season, I find myself reflecting on these lessons and on what God is asking of me moving forward.
Where I Belong
I’ve spoken about this before, but I think it’s worth mentioning again. No matter how much I love another country, I will never become another nationality besides the one I was born into. A country can feel more like home than your home country, but the place you come from will always be where you belong. And honestly, I never thought I’d say this a year ago, but I’m proud and thankful for where I come from.
Disclaimer: This is my personal experience. Others may feel differently. I also can’t speak fully to those who grew up in a country different from their national country. I’m mostly speaking about people who grow up in their native culture and moved in adulthood or late adolescence.
One of the reasons I even started looking into missions back in the fall of 2022 was because I was really tired of Canada’s individualistic mindset. Our task-oriented culture often feels like it leaves little room for relationships. But no matter how much I prefer community-oriented cultures now, the truth is that I will always belong to Canada. Even if I adopt new values or prefer how another culture functions, I will still be seen as foreign in that culture. I’m Canadian. I wasn’t born into another family or community. And wanting to belong doesn’t automatically make me part of it.
A huge part of this is simply not knowing the culture deeply. It can take years—sometimes decades—to understand the small cues, the unspoken expectations, and the subtle rhythms that shape a culture.
High Context Cultures
Most community-oriented cultures are also high-context. Your behavior, body language, tone, and even the smallest gestures carry meaning. If you don’t know the cues, you can offend someone without realizing it, even if what you did would be normal or polite back home.
In Canada, I never have to think about these things. It’s like when a three-year-old hits the “why” phase and asks a question you can’t answer. You only know something is done a certain way because… it just is. That’s culture. What we could call “kindness” or “respect” feels universal, but it isn’t, it’s simply what we were taught.
Here, people notice what you do. You second-guess whether what you said or did was the right thing, and when someone pulls back, you’re left wondering if it was preventable. It’s exhausting — not physically, but mentally, carrying the weight of interpreting what others instinctively understand. In Canada, I don’t have to think that hard—I know the norms instinctively.
Language Matters
Learning the language has become one of the most important things I didn’t expect.
It’s not just about communicating your needs or having a conversation. When you understand the language, you begin to understand the culture on an entirely different level. The idioms, the jokes, the sayings, the way people phrase things—these all reveal what a culture values. They show how people think, how they relate to each other, what they fear, and what they hope for.
It’s not enough to just “get by” in a language. When you aim to truly understand it, you get one step closer to understanding the people you’re trying to reach. Language opens a door into their worldview.
Adaptability
I’ve realized that I’m more adaptable and flexible—I have good boundaries—more than I expected. Coming from a task-oriented culture, time is everything. Our schedules run our lives.
But in community-oriented cultures, time is much more fluid. Things shift. Plans change. People show up late—or sometimes not at all. And honestly, people are very understanding about it.
So I’ve learned to release the pressure. I don’t put heavy expectations on myself or on others. I fill my time with my own things, and when people are free, I show up. Sometimes my friend messages me half an hour after we planned to meet, telling me she’s just leaving—and that’s normal.
I’m not sure if I just understood the culture more, but sometimes when I was with other missionaries, they would put a very Western mindset on things or ask why Albanians did certain things that way. But it’s just cultural. It’s not weird—they’re trying to be polite. And yes, I know you might feel uncomfortable, but that’s the way things are because you are in another country. You can’t expect to act or do the same things you would in your own country, because it’s a different culture.
Busier isn’t Always Better
In Canada, I always felt like I functioned better when I was busy. But here, I’ve learned something different. When your schedule is too full, you don’t leave room for people. You don’t leave room for life. Being less busy has actually become a blessing. I’ve been more available to help, listen, show up, and bless others simply because I’m not running from commitment to commitment.
Discouragement is Real
As a missionary, discouragement hits hard because everything else is already difficult. It’s easy to get stuck in your own expectations of how ministry should go. It’s easy to get sidetracked by disappointments or offended by misunderstandings. And in all that noise, you can forget why you’re there in the first place.
You didn’t see these things coming, but the question is:
Will you let them steal from the work you’re doing?
Remember your purpose. Remember the One who sent you. Remember why you came.
Work Environment
One thing I’ve realized and I think I’ve told many of you about this, is that I often feel like an independent contractor. I get to control my work hours, deciding when and how I work. I’ve learned a lot about how I like to work, and honestly, this current environment isn’t it.
Remember when I said being busier isn’t always better? Yet, I still want to be busier. I struggle in this kind of work environment because there’s no one holding me accountable. At first, that might sound great—but it also comes with challenges I hadn’t fully anticipated.
Working alone is hard because you don’t have someone there to keep you moving forward, which is why Jesus sent His disciples two by two—not alone. Without someone to encourage you through the hard and awkward parts, it’s difficult to approach people or step into uncomfortable situations, and staying motivated becomes a real challenge. Tasks that push you outside your comfort zone feel especially difficult without guidance or support, and in mission work, stepping into unfamiliar or challenging situations is often necessary. In a structured environment, someone might check in, offer encouragement, or walk alongside you to make sure the work gets done, but without that support, motivation can wane and sometimes the work simply doesn’t get completed.
That isolation and struggle with motivation often leads to uncertainty. I constantly ask myself: Am I doing enough? Am I doing this right? Even when I complete tasks, there’s no feedback to confirm whether I’m on the right track. Without clear expectations, it’s also hard to know the best way to spend my time, how to approach tasks, or who to involve. Even things I enjoy can feel overwhelming or uncertain when I’m left to figure it all out on my own.
Reflecting on what I truly enjoy, the one thing that stands out is camp work. You work 23/6, and while it’s exhausting, it is 100% rewarding. For me, it’s worth it. I thrive under pressure, and I have good boundaries, so I’m able to balance work and personal life. I’m not a workaholic—I don’t struggle with overworking—but this kind of work feels purposeful and meaningful.
Part of what makes it worthwhile is that it’s a service-oriented environment. You live in community with other believers, and there’s a clear purpose behind everything you do. I want more of that—whether it’s at a camp or somewhere else. I want to work hard, but I also want the structure of hours, community, and accountability that allows me to see the impact of my work. Camp—or a similar organization—creates opportunities for these connections and experiences that would otherwise be hard to find.
Companionship
The last consideration, which feels least important but still impacts me, is finding a partner. Sometimes it feels like having a partner would solve all my problems—a built-in companion with the same mission to keep me moving forward. Even if a partner isn’t my workmate, it makes personal time feel more worthwhile. There was a time in Albania when I was very content with my work life—I enjoyed the work itself and the amount of time I spent—but at the end of the day, I still returned to an empty house. My off-time didn’t feel as fulfilling, which is why I feel alright with a 23/6 work schedule right now; there simply isn’t much time to feel that loneliness, and the work itself becomes the most meaningful part of my day.
Canadian Living?
On top of everything, this is why I’ve considered staying in Canada for a longer period of time. If I could find a job where I could thrive—structured, purposeful, and with accountability—and a partner, life would certainly be easier, especially because of the familiarity of the culture and language. But even if life might be easier, it might not be the life God is asking me to live. I see so much value in living in the 10/40 window, because even as just a neighbor, I create space for people to hear the gospel—something they might never have the opportunity to hear otherwise. There is purpose in what I am doing here, even if I don’t fully see it yet.
Living in Albania has taught me what a missionary’s life really looks like. Belonging isn’t about a location — it’s about knowing your roots, embracing your culture, and learning how to move with the rhythms of another. I’ve seen the value of learning a language beyond my own and the importance of adaptability and flexibility. I’ve also grown in understanding how I work best, especially when structure and accountability are present. Even as I consider seasons of comfort or staying closer to home, I’m reminded that the mission — the opportunity to serve, build relationships, and create space for people to hear the gospel — calls me beyond convenience. And in stepping beyond what’s easy, I grow, I learn, and I get to participate in something far greater than myself.
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